I've noticed a trend...we've had 3 babies now and after every delivery my husband and I end up in a little bit of a funk. We seem to get increasingly short with one another and are simply "off". Our marriage IS NOT in trouble by any means, but I think we all would be stupid, yes STUPID, to not be on guard...NO ONE gets married planning to divorce...BE ON GUARD!
"The thief comes ONLY to steal, kill, and destroy, I have come that you may have LIFE,
and have it to the full."
In this season of my life, there are obvious new circumstances that can create a good opportunity for conflict - exhaustion, chaos with 2 kids and a new baby, adjusting, post pregnancy hormones, etc-BUT I'm not okay with allowing them to negatively affect my marriage. Just because I might "feel" like biting my husbands head off doesn't mean I'm entitled to or should.
Over the last few years I've tried to be more aware of the areas in my life where Satan is trying to derail my focus from depending on my Lord. I know he has a part in this season of my life, but what breaks my heart and disgusts me is that in reality, Satan only has to plant one thought of frustration in my mind about Adam and it's my own distorted mind and sinful thoughts that takes control. I start to focus on all that I think my husband is doing wrong or not doing at all. Before I know it I have cast myself in a pit of negativity and frustration over my sweet husband. Rage comes over me when I think of how this pleases Satan...UGH (I could spit)!
Of course, this doesn't just happen when we have a baby...it can happen anytime and most likely when one or both of us are not daily making it our goal to serve the Lord and please Him. Distractions are our worst enemy and man o man we have SO many distractions nowadays!
Instead of continually making a mental decision to change my thoughts and actions (which only seems to work temporarily) I'm making the decision to spiritually fight back! Satan WILL NOT win in my marriage.
I'm taking action and this is how we are doing it...
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord."
I'm taking action and this is how we are doing it...
1. Most importantly...SCRIPTURE-the living and active word of God. Verses will be posted everywhere in my house. The bottom line is that Adam will NEVER truly fulfill me...he can't! We have to let our spouses off the hook. Release them from the failing task of trying to make us happy all the time. It's impossible. Only God can make us feel truly valuable and worth it. My verses will focus on God's love for me and His faithfulness. I will add some on my role as a wife and some on godly men (because I have one and don't want to forget it).
"Be strong in the Lord and His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
2. Focus on how AWESOME my husband is! This man does SO much for his family, especially me. For his 30th birthday I highlighted just a few of the things that I love about him. Those, with more added, will be posted on my refrigerator. (Yes, there are negatives about him, but I have way more and focusing on these, which I tend to do, won't bring us closer together OR bring glory to the Lord.)
"Do NOT conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the RENEWING of your MIND. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - HIS GOOD, PLEASING, and PERFECT WILL."
3. Get some accountability. I have AMAZING friends that daily pray for me, challenge me, keep me accountable, and spur me forward in my walk with Jesus. They WILL ask me daily how I'm loving my husband and focusing on the Lord. They won't hesitate to, as one of them already put it, "I will hit you upside your head if you're not better soon."
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
4. Do purposeful things to serve my man. I don't know about you but I am SO selfish. The Word tells us that love "is not self-seeking". Well this goes against almost every grain in my body, so I have to actively and very intentionally do things that are selfless and will bless Adam.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own intersests, but also to the interests of others."
5. Pray more together. Nothing brings you closer:)
"Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
I can't fight my sinful nature and satan on my own...PERIOD! Whether it's your marriage, an addiction, impure thoughts, a bad attitude, daily mundane tasks, impatience with your kids, jealousy, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING - We need JESUS!!! I NEED JESUS and have to be VERY INTENTIONAL in pursuing HIM!!! Lord, help me not rely on anything or anyone else!
"There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death" Proverbs 14:12
"Search me, O god, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."