Fighting back...

    I've noticed a trend...we've had 3 babies now and after every delivery my husband and I end up in a little bit of a funk. We seem to get increasingly short with one another and are simply "off".  Our marriage IS NOT in trouble by any means, but I think we all would be stupid, yes STUPID, to not be on guard...NO ONE gets married planning to divorce...BE ON GUARD! 

"The thief comes ONLY to steal, kill, and destroy, I have come that you may have LIFE, 

and have it to the full." 

John 10:10

    In this season of my life, there are obvious new circumstances that can create a good opportunity for conflict - exhaustion, chaos with 2 kids and a new baby, adjusting, post pregnancy hormones, etc-BUT I'm not okay with allowing them to negatively affect my marriage. Just because I might "feel" like biting my husbands head off doesn't mean I'm entitled to or should.

    Over the last few years I've tried to be more aware of the areas in my life where Satan is trying to derail my focus from depending on my Lord. I know he has a part in this season of my life, but what breaks my heart and disgusts me is that in reality, Satan only has to plant one thought of frustration in my mind about Adam and it's my own distorted mind and sinful thoughts that takes control. I start to focus on all that I think my husband is doing wrong or not doing at all. Before I know it I have cast myself in a pit of negativity and frustration over my sweet husband. Rage comes over me when I think of how this pleases Satan...UGH (I could spit)!

    Of course, this doesn't just happen when we have a baby...it can happen anytime and most likely when one or both of us are not daily making it our goal to serve the Lord and please Him. Distractions are our worst enemy and man o man we have SO many distractions nowadays!

    Instead of continually making a mental decision to change my thoughts and actions (which only seems to work temporarily) I'm making the decision to spiritually fight back! Satan WILL NOT win in my marriage. 

"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord."

Jeremiah 17:5 

I'm taking action and this is how we are doing it... 

1. Most importantly...SCRIPTURE-the living and active word of God. Verses will be posted everywhere in my house. The bottom line is that Adam will NEVER truly fulfill me...he can't! We have to let our spouses off the hook. Release them from the failing task of trying to make us happy all the time. It's impossible. Only God can make us feel truly valuable and worth it. My verses will focus on God's love for me and His faithfulness. I will add some on my role as a wife and some on godly men (because I have one and don't want to forget it).

 

"Be strong in the Lord and His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Ephesians 6:10-12 

2. Focus on how AWESOME my husband is! This man does SO much for his family, especially me. For his 30th birthday I highlighted just a few of the things that I love about him. Those, with more added, will be posted on my refrigerator. (Yes, there are negatives about him, but I have way more and focusing on these, which I tend to do, won't bring us closer together OR bring glory to the Lord.)

"Do NOT conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the RENEWING of your MIND. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - HIS GOOD, PLEASING, and PERFECT WILL."

Romans 12:2

3.  Get some accountability. I have AMAZING friends that daily pray for me, challenge me, keep me accountable, and spur me forward in my walk with Jesus. They WILL ask me daily how I'm loving my husband and focusing on the Lord. They won't hesitate to, as one of them already put it, "I will hit you upside your head if you're not better soon."

 "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Proverbs 27:17 

4.  Do purposeful things to serve my man. I don't know about you but I am SO selfish. The Word tells us that love "is not self-seeking". Well this goes against almost every grain in my body, so I have to actively and very intentionally do things that are selfless and will bless Adam. 

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own intersests, but also to the interests of others."

Philippians 2:3-4

5.   Pray more together. Nothing brings you closer:)

"Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

James 5:16

Bottom line...

I can't fight my sinful nature and satan on my own...PERIOD! Whether it's your marriage, an addiction, impure thoughts, a bad attitude, daily mundane tasks, impatience with your kids, jealousy, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING - We need JESUS!!! I NEED JESUS and have to be VERY INTENTIONAL in pursuing HIM!!! Lord, help me not rely on anything or anyone else!  

"There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death"  Proverbs 14:12

"Search me, O god, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 

See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." 

Psalm 139:23-24

WAITING....

What better time to resurrect my blog then about the time I started it 2 years ago! It has been well over a year since I posted, but to my surprise I have been okay with that. I'm normally very controlling with matters like this and expect more from myself, but in this season of my life...it's simply okay.

So, what can possibly be pressing enough on me to cause me to bring this old blog back to life?  Well, I am 3 days overdue with our 3rd child, Harry Joel Baker. It's surprising to me to be overdue because for so long I have felt that I would go early, but God has had different plans and I can NOW say, I am grateful!

"But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life."  1 Timothy 1:16

So often you hear woman around 38 weeks wanting to be induced (for non-medical reasons). Especially by there due date. It makes TOTAL sense...pregnancy is hard, specifically towards the end. Sleeping is near impossible, you should pretty much wear a diaper or you will live in the restroom, the little food that you do eat seems to be pushed back up into your throat, moving in any direction feels like your hips are going to fall apart, the list goes on....IT'S JUST HARD!!!!  But one thing the Lord has pounded me with over the last few years is just because something is hard doesn't mean you shouldn't endure it.

Unfortunately, our society teaches and urges us that if something is hard we shouldn't HAVE to endure it and therefore can take things into our own hands. We deserve what we want and we deserve it when we want it. This sense of pride, control, and entitlement can be dangerous and if you are a Christian it will put a gap between you and the Lord making it hard to hear HIS voice over your own. If I am honest in evaluating my life, I do this in SO many areas...and it seems harmless and I probably don't even notice, but I'm learning that Satan works that way. He is sneaky, manipulative, and flat out mean. His goal is to distract us from the ONE who loves us more than anything and wants to gift us with an incredibly abundant life, but we have to let HIM. So, if we are overtaken in the belief system of me, me, me, and that's all that matters, then we will miss SO much of God and the me that HE is trying to create and mold.

Over a month ago I was ready for Harry to be here and impatience started settling in, but thank the Lord, my heart has been more vulnerable and impressionable to God's work in my life (it's NOT always that way). He stopped me in my track...and now, I see why. I have THOROUGHLY enjoyed and loved the last few weeks with my family and friends. When you are "waiting" to go into labor you don't make many plans because you just don't know when things will happen. Because of that, I have spent way more quality time with my girls and my husband. I have watched Avery and Taylor's relationship grow. Just sitting watching them learn how to play together and laugh has brought SO much joy to me. If I had of been taken over with frustration and impatience, or have a newborn, I would have missed this blessing, not to mention all the organizing that has gone on;) Those who know me well, know how much that blesses my heart! Although, it's been hard waiting on our sweet baby boy to make his debut, it has been worth it. It's undoubtedly been a gift from my Savior!

We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives...being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father...
Colossians 1:9, 11-12

With all that said, Harry, when you are ready to arrive, we REALLY are! And eagerly anticipate holding and loving you! By the way, Avery doesn't understand all of the above and wants to hold you NOW!!!

Why is the stapler in Avery's room?

Upon Avery waking from her nap the other day, I noticed the stapler on her dresser....

what, why, who?Avery is potty trained but she still sleeps in diapers so as I began to take it of and replace it with panties, I noticed something shiny.
I found the answer to one of my questions.
"What?" It appeared that the staples were holding the, already fastened, diaper on.

Then I remembered that Adam put her down for her nap. So the answer to the "who" question...Adam!!

Now to the "why"? Later that day I asked him why Avery had staples in her diaper. His reply, he was putting her diaper on in the dark and COULD NOT get the tabs open, so he ran to the office, grabbed the stapler and voila, problem solved!

I thought, how in the world could you not get the tabs open?!
Then I recalled the events that took place prior him putting her to bed.

I was busy with Taylor and Adam volunteered to get Avery ready for her nap. As he was taking her potty I finished laying Taylor down and, being from the restaurant world, decided I would set Adam up for success, so I turned the light off, sound machine on, and laid a diaper out for him AND pulled the tabs open so it would be quick and easy. I guess it was a little TOO easy! With it being dark and Adam being a man, the tabs thing threw him off and, again being a man, he went into problem solving mode...
STAPLER!

NEVER A DULL MOMENT!
But at least there's tons of laughter and good stories!

My man....is 30!

April 23, 2011

I can't believe I'm old enough to have a 30 year old husband! I know, I'm just a year behind, but it'll all too weird! Oddly, I have been looking forward to this day for a while. Why? Well, I love to throw parties, especially when it can honor my best friend! I wanted him to have a day that was all about him; in which he would have a blast and be encouraged. He deserved it!

He started off the day with breakfast at Ross's Diner, a landmark Cartersville "restaurant", on the way to the Etowah Valley Sporting Club to, basically, shoot guns with a bunch of our friends and family men. I think Adam had a blast. It's something that he LOVES to do. Since the day we met, he has expressed to me his dreams of being a sniper and often mentioned that if he weren't a Christian he would be an assassin. A few years ago he started collecting and shooting guns. I gave him the choice to play golf or shoot...it was a no brainer for him!

Never would I have imagined my husband in this attire...times change!

I love this picture of my Dad, so I had to share!

Upon returning we had a big party to celebrate my man! Our awesome friend allowed us to have the blowout at her family's lake...GORGEOUS!!! The party was all about Adam. Coca-Cola decor, Mexican food, yard games, and friends and family....all his favorites!

Check out the Coca-Cola birthday banner (in the back) made my Amanda Brantley at Joyful Designs.

Avery and her cousin, Riley! I made all of the cousins coordinating dresses or shorts.
Of course, I forgot to get a picture of them all together.

I love my husband so much and wanted to him to have a blast but also be encouraged, SO I asked a few people to share. He wasn't expecting that at all. "When I think of Adam, I think of..." was the theme. Let me just say, he got a taste of his own medicine PLUS was encouraged a good bit!

Adam's mom and dad sharing.

Sister, Mandy, talking about her "big" brother ;)

Getting real about the birthday boy!

I roasted and toasted him bit and thought I would share with you.
I like to brag on him occasionally!

Knowing Adam and his personality, people probably wonder what it is like on a daily basis in our home. Well, let me allow you to be a fly on the wall.

On any given day you might find Adam…

· Spending some quality time with the commode and his iphone. It’s usually when I need some help with the girls, like changing a diaper. I’ve recently threatened to take away his phone before he proceeds to the throne! But what never fails is that I cannot go back in there for at least 20 minutes;)

· Making me laugh

· Talking to Stuart on the phone

· Working out upstairs. This usually consists of a little run/walk on the treadmill. Which I have to tell you that after a workout this week he was so excited…he had run for 7 minutes!!!! Within this workout he also does some hard core muscle building… Those 10-pound dumb bells are getting a good bit of action. Can’t you tell he has bulked up?!

· Dirty dancing in front of the mirror, in the kitchen, in the living room or anywhere. He quit doing this naked when my mom walked in on him!

· Talking on the phone to Stuart

· Playing with our girls, not in a cute dainty way, but growling and wrestling. I am constantly reminding him that we have girls not boys!

· Rolling his eyes if I say that I’m going to start a “project”.

· Calling me once I have finally gotten away from the house for a little me time, usually with the girls, saying something like that he is trying to finish eating and Taylor is crying….what should he do?!

· Talking on the phone to Stuart

· Rejecting me as I am trying to persuade him to try and eat or at least try something that he hasn’t since he was probably 5.

· Talking to Stuart on the phone

· STRUGGLING to just give me a sweet/romantic hug or a kiss without poking or prodding me in a, let’s just say, non-romantic manner!

· Making me laugh!

· Watching a reality TV show, especially Survivor, pausing it and saying, “Now here’s what I would do in this situation.” Or Dancing with the Stars…”Do you think I could do that”…in which I always answer YES!

· Watching 24 re-runs on his iphone in the bed with ear phones. I think I am beginning to dislike Netflix direct streaming!

· Talking to Stuart on the phone

· Reminding me that it has been 48 hours…enough said!

With ALL of that said in fun, you also might find Adam…

· Praying for his family and friends and sometimes crying on behalf of them!

· Working as hard as he can to allow me the opportunity to stay home with our girls and provide for our family

· Kissing each of us goodbye when he leaves the house for work.

· Goofing off with Avery and making her laugh…nothing makes me smile more than hearing them have so much fun together!

· Realizing I’m stressed or tired and doing anything he can to help me

· Washing the dishes almost EVERY night after dinner. (I have his Dad to thank for that.)

· In his office for HOURS praying and preparing a Sunday school lesson

· Challenging me personally and in my relationship with the Lord.

· Crying at the sweet, sob stories on ESPN

· Not wavering in his personal convictions

· Persevering through diligence in specific areas of his life

· Loving his family more than he can show

· Teaching Avery the Bible

· Simply teaching Avery. He is so gifted in this area and Avery LOVES to learn from him.

· Being very intentional with his time with each of us girls.

· Praying with Avery before bed.

· Calling random people to check in on them.

· Being selfish with his time with me.

· Oh and talking to Stuart on the phone!

Adam,

I am proud and honored to be your wife! I love you more than you know or I know how to show you. I notice ALL the things that you do for me, for our girls, for our friends, and most importantly for our Lord! I not only notice but I GREATLY respect and appreciate your efforts and actions. You are truly the husband and partner that I always wanted and prayed for. While at times things may not be easy and I may not always act or show you that I care, PLEASE no that I truly adore and honor you. I crave you more than you know and as I have said MANY times…I would not want to live this life with anyone else but you! You are an AMAZING man and I promise to continue to work at loving you more selflessly! I hope you had a wonderful birthday!

His new toy!

Capital "P"

I bet you didn't think that "later" would be a whole month later....me neither! Nevertheless, Exodus 33 still rings loudly in my mind.

In Exodus 33 the Lord tells Moses to lead the Israelites to the land He promised them, but He was not going to go with them because they had broken covenant with Him. God was temporarily removing His presence. Moses went to the "tent of meeting" to petition the Lord. He knew that a mere angel was no substitute for God's presence.

(Little bit of a side note: verses 7-11 describe the tent of meeting and, oh my word, I love it!!! Moses would pitch a tent outside of camp to meet with God "face to face, as a man speaks with a friend". Whenever Moses would go in to meet with God a pillar of cloud would move across the entrance to the tent. Whenever the people saw this they would stand at the entrance and worship. AMAZING! 1st that the King of Kings would meet with Moses face to face, 2nd that there would be such a visible sign to let people know He was speaking to someone, and 3rd that when His people saw the sign, they worshiped. There is SO much to draw from that picture! Just imagine in your mind what that looked like and how it correlates to us today. Astounding!)

Now, back to my point. Moses was basically begging God, "If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is Your people." The next verse is what originally captivated me. The Lord replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Not presence but capital P Presence! Obviously, another name for the Lord and one of my favorites! Who, what, and where are we if we don't have God's Presence? I cringe to even think where or who I would be without it. Apparently that thought scared Moses as well.
"If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"
Oh, how I pray that people see the Lord in me! His Presence is SO important and what Christianity is all about...we HAVE to exude it! Chris Tomlin's song, "Here for You" potrays this perfectly and I love the line "Let our shout be your echo!" I'm making that my prayer.

The Lord replied to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name." Proof that the Lord hears our cries and wants to give us what we desire when we delight in him!

These scriptures speak for themselves and I have read them over and over! I so badly want to recognize His Presence more in my life and exude it for others to see and come to know Him!

Complacent

Yes, I realize that I have not blogged in way over a month, but I must say that I have been surprised about the lack of "extra" time provided in a day. I LOVE having 2 girls, but WHEW time flies by while taking care of them and, my most special baby, Adam!

Oddly, the Lord has had me in Exodus the past 2 weeks and I must say, HE has been lighting me up!! I have been stuck in two chapters, just reading them over and over, journaling, and listening.

How often do we turn away from God or simply, choose to turn to something or someone else. Could it be because God isn't coming through for us the way we want? We could even be doing this unintentionally. Upon reading Exodus 32, I thought, I trust Him and His ways...then He hit me! What about when I simply become complacent to HIS Presence!

In Exodus 32 Moses was with God on Mt. Sinia for 40 days and 40 nights. The Lord had already lead the Israelites out of Egypt and they were on their way to the Promised Land. The people got anxious because Moses was gone for so long, so they decided to make gods that could go before them to guide and protect them along their journey. My initial reaction in reading this was, "Seriously?! God has already delivered them and has over and over provided for them and shown He is trustworthy and worthy of their faith." 2nd reaction after about 5 seconds of thinking: Ummm....Oops...How easily do I take matters into my own hands or simply and, sometimes, unintentionally, ignore the PRESENCE of God in my life?! At least the Israelites had real problems and so badly depended on God's PRESENCE that when they didn't see it they panicked and tried to replace Him and create their own gods to lead them. I tend to just not pay attention to HIM...ugh...makes me sick!!!! I so easily turn to my ways for living or solving my daily problems. Whether it's yet another system I create to organize my life or taking the burden on myself to be a good wife and mother. HIS Presence is way more than I know....it is EVERYTHING!

Are you walking in constant awareness of the Lord? What areas or times in your day do you typically just kinda forget about His Presence? Me? The mundane, consistent tasks of being a stay at home mom and many other times (just being honest).

The Lord is the only one I want "to go before" me to guide, protect, and lead me through this life He has given me. God is CONSTANT, unfailing, peace and patience providing! Apparently, my ways fail...who knew!!!!!

So chapter 33 exemplifies God's Presence and REALLY rocked me, but I have a baby in bed that won't keep her paci in her mouth and a toddler that would rather wrestle with her Daddy then go to sleep...I'm needed! I will try to wrap it up later!

Scripture Memory Box

Most know that on January 9 the Lord brought our 2nd daughter into the world...while that was and has been absolutely AMAZING the reality of spending 30-45 minutes every 3 or so hours throughout the night nursing was not something I was looking forward to. After a few nights of looking at facebook on my phone, the Lord convicted me of how wasteful I was being with HIS time. So I grabbed my scripture memory box and started memorizing. WOW, the Lord has blessed that time and me during the day when He brings those verses to my mind and mouth. I realized in college how important knowing God's word was and having a Type A personality knew I needed a system to accomplish this (I should post ALL of the organizational systems, used or not used, I have in my house...it might scare you!). Little did I know that the person who proposed a scripture memory method would propose marriage to me 2 and a half years later. My husband, Adam, who was a friend at the time suggested using a scripture memory box, a system he had been using for several years. He even got the materials and made it for me...awww, I know! That's just a glimpse of the amazing, mighty significant man I was blessed to marry! Anyway...back on track...I figured it would be a great idea to share with you! We all need God's word written on our hearts, right?!

So here you go...

Materials:
4x6 plastic index card box
4x6 dividers (8)
4x6 index cards

On the each of the dividers write a day of the week and on the 8th divider write "EVERYDAY". Put all dividers in the box and blank index cards in the front.

How to use:
Anytime you come across a verse that you would like to memorize write the verse on one side and the reference on the other side of the index card and place it front of the dividers. When you are ready to memorize a new verse put one behind the EVERYDAY divider. It stays there and you work on memorizing it everyday until it is learned, then you file it behind one of the days of the week.

So, on Monday you will work on learning the scripture in your EVERYDAY section then review the verse that is already memorized in your MONDAY section. This way you never forget what you have already learned.
After college and my first few years of marriage, I went about a year without using my box and have a STACK of verses that are no longer memorized...ugh...frustrating! It is imperative that I know the Word; now more than ever, with raising 2 precious girls, these lips need to pour TRUTH into their sensitive ears! Keep me accountable, friends!

Hopefully this is useful to you! Several friends of mine like to keep all there verses in an index card spiral. I have done this so that I can keep them with me in my purse, now diaper bag, and look at in spare time (which seems to be dwindling!).


Happy learning! (If you have another system or idea, I would love to hear it.)